Every month or so, Manthing does something hideous.
He shaves his head.
His hair will reach a half an inch and BINGO, he’ll haul out the electric clippers and clip it down to a quarter of an inch. He will also trim his beard. I understand the beard being short. But I HATE the hair. However, it is HIS head and he IS an adult, so what can you do?
Anyway, he has a tendency to miss HUGE spots of his head while shearing his locks because he doesn’t look at what he’s doing in the mirror. Worse than having a shaved head is having a shaved head with huge bits of unshaved hair poking out all over. He also tends to miss the spot right in front of the top of his ears. This makes him look like he is sprouting the beginnings of Hasidic ringlets.
Because of this, I am called into service to help so he doesn’t end up looking like a molting bird or like he was in a radiation accident. I make sure the long bits are trimmed and the hairline on his neck is straight. Because Manthing has also begun sprouting OME’s, otherwise known as Old Man Eyebrows, I have been largely responsible making sure his eyebrows don’t grow so long as to stick straight up or down to intefere with his vision. I usually accomplish this by running the clipper over them lightly, in the direction of growth, while the clipper guard is still on the clipper.
So the other night, Manthing and I are making sure everything looks okay after he’s whacked his hair off. I check out his eyebrows to make sure they’re okay. They are not.
"Hang on a sec. You’ve got the Old Man Eyebrows", I say, "Let me trim them."
Manthing reaches for the clippers, "I’ll do it".
"But," I blurt helplessly as he grabs them and begins to SHAVE HIS EYEBROWS.
"Manthing", I say "Why are you shaving AGAINST the growth, without the guard"?
By this time,having paid no attention to me whatsoever, he has shaved one eyebrow off and the gravity of what he’s done finally dawns on him. I could almost see the lightbulb come on. Rather than being decently mortified, he begins to laugh.
"Shit", he states, still laughing, as he begins to work on the other one. After all, you can’t go around with unmatched eyebrows.
"I know. I can’t believe you just did that. You should have let me do it like I always do", I tell him flatly.
Once he is finished, he looks at himself closely in the mirror. "Well, they’ll grow back quick", he says hopefully.
"Way to go, Sinead," I remark on my way out of the bathroom.