We went to Beast Buy last night because I wanted to pick up a copy of MuteMath. Yeah, I’m hip, and cool like that; keeping up with the sound of today. No, it doesn’t make a bit of difference that about the only way I am introduced to new bands and new music artists is because I watch late night talk shows- sometimes. No. It doesn’t. And it makes even less difference that they are often repeats. It DOESN’T matter. It doesn’t.
So as I am in the music area, I browse- checking out who has officially become a geezer and just how large the gold necklaces are getting to be on the rap guys. Because it’s beginning to look a lot like that time of the year, Mariah Carey was screeching some sort of Christmas standards that I couldn’t recognize. I’ve never seen the draw with that broad. If she isn’t screeching , she sounds as though she’s getting goosed- repeatedly.
Anyway I was bored. I had what I came for in my hot, little paw and I was ready to go. Manthing however was not. I looked over at gaming and there he was, in Manthing heaven. He usually finds me when he’s ready so I browsed some more.
In looking at the Christmas music, I considered A Rat Pack Christmas but I already drive everyone batshit with my 1940’s & 1950’s non-Christmas music collection. Besides, I wasn’t really sure I was up for 3 drunks singing "Frosty the Snowman".
Then I saw this. I could not believe my eyes. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. It was still there and I was askeered.
Now, really some things should just never come to pass. He looks like some sort of deranged lounge singer at the Has-Been Lounge. You know those fine establishments that smell of cheap perfume and cigars, Old Milwaukee, and Pine-Sol. They’ve got him posed like Bing fucking Crosby! For Hellsakes. Some things are just plain wrong like whiny, skinny women in fat suits and Billy Idol being all warm and homey, like Pop in at piano in front of the hearth just doesn’t work.
Nor can I picture Billy Idol singing the Christmas Song, Santa Claus Is Coming to Town or Frosty the Snowman, even though I know he can sing when he puts his mind to it.
At the cash register we encountered 2 young cashier chickies who were engaged in an animated conversation about the Christmas music playing in the store.
Chick 1: "They are really hitting the Christmas music hard tonight, aren’t they?"
Chick 2: "Well, they have to you know".
Chick 1: "Well yeah. Makes the customers buy more".
Chick 2: "Really? That’ll be 25.11 ma’m".
As I swiped my card I said, "Well as long as they don’t play that Billy Idol holiday CD you’ll be ok".
Chick 1: "I don’t even know who Billy Idol is".
CHick 2: "He’s some old singer from the 80’s".