When I wrote “Goodbye” and Poem 12.02.13 that was the very last time I alluded to the Exhole publicly. While I often share a great deal of personal thoughts and observations in my writing, it’s rare that I go into gory details. So imagine my surprise when I discovered this message on Facebook, sitting in my “Other” folder, from the Ex-Boyfriend’s sister:
It was a truly WTF moment. My first thought was, ‘Why the fuck is SHE sending me a message?’ I didn’t communicate with her much when the Exhole and I were a couple (in fact she decided she didn’t like me) and I had quit referring to his daughter as “Kidlet” last year when he asked. So why now? My second thought was, ‘What the fuck is she talking about?’
There are a couple of reasons why I haven’t mentioned any thing more about the Exhole.
He’s an EX. That means stick a fork in it, it’s done. Past. No longer applicable. “BACK THERE”. I’ve spent the last several months moving on from Back There- quite literally. I’ve moved into a new place and into a life that doesn’t include PTSD, a self-centered little boy masquerading as a man, struggles to live with a small child and make ends meet, lies, deception and unnecessary drama. I feel so far removed from that life, I rarely think about it unless I’m forced to look Back There. Life with him was hard. I don’t always need easy. Just not always so damn hard.
You see, the thing is once you understand that everything you thought you knew about someone were lies cobbled together with shards of truth and held together with feigned character, you have to cut your losses, drop the illusion and step on it as you move forward. Truly. No matter how much it hurts. No matter what your brain convinces your heart to feel, you simply must get on with it to have the life you want.
Once I accepted that everything about the dude and the life I had with him was a lie, including his alleged true and undying love for me, there was nothing to mourn; nothing really to grieve. He had taken far morefrom my life than he had given. The fat lady had sung the last swan song. All that was left were lies. The only loss to grieve for was an illusion he had fabricated and that I had chosen to believe, for whatever reason. Hindsight is more often than not, 20/20. I had already spent nearly 3 years spinning my wheels and I had gotten nowhere fast. I hadn’t back-pedaled but I wasn’t any further ahead. I decided I wasn’t going to waste any more time or expend any more energy on a loss, grown from deception and illusion; on a dude who wasn’t worthy of my trust, belief or love and probably never had been. I cut my losses and started rebuilding my life.
So I responded.
Friday, February 21, 2014 10:18pmWTF?! Seriously? I want (nor do I need) nothing to do with you, your brother, your family or your niece. Your brother is lying again. He lies. He cheated and he left. It’s done. I’m asking you nicely. Go away, Penny.
A few hours later came this answer:
Really? I was exasperated with being awakened from a sound sleep and a very nice dream with this petty, juvenile, unnecessary bullshit. Enough was enough.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t blog about your family anymore. I haven’t since your brother left. I want no part of him or anyone affiliated with him. If he’s worried about what I’m writing about he should have behaved with some integrity. I’m asking again nicely. Go away. Quit messaging me.As someone seeking a career in law, you should be aware of what harassment is.Chat Conversation EndSeen Sat 1:14am
Her brother lies and and cheats for months, even making his 6 year old daughter complicit in his deception. He bails, leaving me high and dry and HE’S the wronged party?
Madness is evidently a predominant feature in his family.